For the past few days....i've been lost in the thoughts of what will transpire and how i would react to the eventuality as and when it arises.
wikihow and yahoo answers have proved to be a versatile faculty of advice that i so seek in this attempt to take charge of the ongoings.
I try to be blatant and detachedly direct and brutal in my approach to sever the umblical cord with the past but perhaps the wine of my resolve isn't mature enough to intoxicate me, thereby numbing the ensuing pain.
And so, lacking grit, i succumb to the temptations that may one day prove to be my undoing.
Why do i make a complete fool of myself, blabbering 'somethings' that appear so unconsequential after the hour has passed.
I'll hae to devise a slow yet sure mechanism to assuage my innards, ravaged by the premonitions of the inevitable and make sure that when the moment arrives, i manage to enscone my feelings in a clammy shell to shield from the grief and pain, my present self may not be able to endure.
And all this, without a rustle so as to not raise an eye brow as i prepare to jump from the precipice of the expectations that never will materialise into the reassuring vaccuum of the life after crumble of the cookie......
hope i dont.....crumble with it......