for some reason, life in india, or more specifically, at an indian college seems like a monotone from a devil's piano.....The mind numbing and archaic teaching notions and stupid oafs with ant-hill like ambitions are extenuating enough, but take into account the gross dearth of any sub-acad activities(save movie-ing and lan-ing)and the scene assumes decidedly dreadful dimensions.......

The GRE preps due to an overdrive of emotions willed on by the sensibilities hurt above, were, in the hiindsight, too precocious and fed by a presumptuous me.......

Whats more, a nascent and potentially catastrophic thought is taking shape up there- taking SAt.....

Turns out, if the course of this insti is approved by the authorities in the US, i might be able to commence my studies from the very point that i left them at this college, obviously subject to my gettin a good score in SAT and gettin admission thereby at some good insti there..........

hell..........its a tantalising figment.....

well....what could follow......an amazin campus life, blonde bombshells and busty brunettes,maybe a mutual feling of love for some sweet, simple, lovely and intelligent gal, extra activities tht would allow me to explore and enjoy the things that i hope to accomplish in this lifetime and of coure.......a contemporary course structure and teachers who know wht they are teaching rather than mumble gibberish and get paid and laid.....

The possibilities are endless but its a pity that the said vistas straddle domains that might strech my emotional as well as moral fibre to its tensile limit.......

till then.......well.......wait.....

Life is waiting....Make it large....

WHOOPPEEEEE!!!!!!

yeah right.......

three cheers for me folks.......

i have managed to impossible.....a cocktail of resolute cold detachment and the occupation of my mind with certain hobbies has made me forget my past.......
I finally have gathered enough nerve to dump the baggage that i was carrying with me.....feels so much more light........

the last few weeks saw me engrossed in chess....a game that i suddenly have begun feeling passionate about......whther its splurgin money on chess books or playing the game online.....checkin out past games of grandmasters or reading about their lives.....every aspect of the game has me enamoured......and completely........

This inadvertent spurt of interest helped me get over a certain someone....as i found myself nominating less and less of my mindspace to things that had been keepin me from moving on......
A novel reading overdrive to was no less useful......as i started imagining the paperback romances, taking shape in my life........and envisaging the picture perfect future with someone better........

and surprisingly, the idea tht someone beter could even exist in flesh and bones was easier to envisage then i had thought possible......
in fact, it would seem surreal, that a few weeks back i was an emotional wreck over seeing gloomy ongoings and identifying with a bleak tomorrow....but now.....i feel good for some stupid reason.....that the past did not work out as i hoped it would.....that the cogs did not show the perfect cohesion, expected of them......i feel enlivened....coz the only meaning i grasp is that better things await me.......and what matters more is that i feel deseving of that better 'thing'....

had things worked out fine, or so i feel now, it wudn have been immaculate as i used to imagine........its good that they did not.....damn good......hell.....life's long......and i am sure to aspire for and acquire greener pastures.......

My minds whirring overtime, mulling with the prospects ahead......theres such a lot that i want to do.......and theres a lot that my schedule wont allow me to......

I want to become a physicist.....wud love to......especially since i am gravely interested in quantum mechanics and relativistic physics.....
I want to become a chess grandmaster....or an international master at the very least......the reasons r all but obvious.....
I want to become an ace guitarist......strumming magic and playing my favourite tunes......
i want to become a writer.....and i wont elaborate.....
i want to be a globe trotter......and backpack accross the globe.....
i want to learnt french, spanish and italian.....
and finally i want to get into stanford, caltech, berkeley or some such topnotch insti to pursue my higher studies.......

the dreams are steep....but i expect my self to come good on least a few of the above mentioned points.........

I am coming, life.........


hell......u know tht.....doncha.....